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Chicken Stir Fry and the Rice of Liars!

March 1, 2013

As another Monday evening comes and goes I sit here in a half comatose state trying to fight off passing out in order to tell the tale of my latest experience cooking for Bill.

Tonight I returned home to Bill planted on the couch (his normal area) with a pile of groceries left on the kitchen floor.  I began going through the bags and sorting the various items he had returned with, and decided that I would make some sort of stir fry.  I looked about the kitchen and found a citrus teriyaki marinade which was a Christmas gift from my friend Angela.  It smelled delicious so I gave it a shot.  I sliced 4 chicken breasts in 1/2 inch strips then threw them all together in a ziplock bag amongst a generous quantity of marinade.  As the chicken marinated I prepped the vegetables and checked on the rice I had started just briefly before.

Now before we go any further let’s pause for a moment to pick a bone with the creators of Lundberg Organic Long Grain Brown Rice.

I’m not sure what your game is, or what you’re trying to pull here outside of guaranteeing countless individuals follow your instructions only to inevitably burn the rice which they desire.  What’s your play here Lundberg?!  Why would you tell me to bring the rice to a boil and let it then simmer in a tightly covered pot for 40 minutes if it’s going to start burning and clumping to the bottom of the pan 18 minutes prior to when you instructed me to look at it?!  Maybe you’ll ask me if I stirred it to avoid clumping.  Of course I stirred it, who do you think I am, Bill?!  Why do you choose to put improper instructions on your bag in an attempt to ruin my night and dinner?!  Explain yourself Lundberg!

Anyways, I luckily smelled the rice starting to burn and was able to save it.  I set it aside and sautéed some kale, asparagus, white onion, broccoli, and garlic in one skillet as I began cooking the Citrus Teriyaki marinated chicken in the other.  Once the chicken and vegetables were cooked I combined them with the rice all in one skillet to the meal together, cooked for a few more minutes, then rang the dinner bell for Bill.

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All mixed and ready to plate.

-Patrick

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