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Bill Cooking for Bill Again?! Quick and Easy Pasta

March 6, 2013

I come home on a Friday night. Comedy show scheduled for 9 PM. I need some nutrients, but Patrick has informed me that he is going to go out after work with his co-workers for some sort of rave partying (or at least that’s what I assume he was up to). I start to panic, sweat beads up on my forehead and I begin to breathe heavier, as if I had just walked from the couch to the kitchen or completed some other kind of exceptionally strenuous activity. Then, a light-bulb appears above my head (figuratively) – and I remember, I CAN cook for myself! In fact, earlier in that very same week I had cooked a sandwich. So I hop in the way back time machine, when I used to fend for myself, and I dig out an old tried and true classic recipe: pasta and sauce. I get started on boiling a pot of water, which takes longer than expected. Once it is ready (actually it wasn’t really boiling but I was getting impatient) I dump a box of pasta into the pot and go back to watching ‘King of Queens.’  Eventually the pasta is done because it’s not completely hard anymore, so I drain as much water out of the pot as I can using a wooden spoon to prevent the pasta from spilling out. Then, I take some cold marinara sauce and pour it onto the pasta. Using the heat of the pasta to warm up the sauce is a genius tactic I use to save me time and energy.

Finally, it is time to dine. I stir up the pasta and sauce, and use the pot as a bowl, thus saving Patrick the extra dishes to wash when he returns home. I’m very considerate in addition to being a stone-cold boss in the kitchen when I need to be.

Anyway, the end result was what you would expect. Less glamorous than Patrick’s creations, but I is (word check told me “I is” was the correct grammar here instead of “I am?”) a scrappy guy. I find a way to survive in the direst of scenarios, I should be on Survivor.



  1. Beth and the Biscuit permalink

    Thanks for my first chuckle of the morning. So glad to read you survived your ordeal and even have enough energy to blog it for the sympathy “likes”, I is so sure. 🙂

    • I’m glad you enjoyed it, and what do you mean? I blogged about it to share my great recipe with the world 😉

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