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Why Does Patrick Hate Salads? Shrimp Stir Fry in NYC

April 5, 2013

Patrick hates salad. I don’t know why, it actually really aggravates me, but he HATES them. To the point where I will buy lettuce over and over again, and he would sooner let it rot and be thrown away than to use it to make a salad. To be fair, he is typically very good about using food prior to the expiration, and has an uncanny ability to make the most out of stray ingredients when we are in need of another one of my shopping trips. Which is what makes this whole salad thing all the more infuriating.

Why, Pat? Why do you hate salad so much? Did it hurt one of your family members before? Did it steal a past lover from you? Does it post obnoxious Facebook statuses about it’s mundane existence? No, Patrick, it doesn’t do that, because it’s salad. It is an inanimate object. When I ask him why he doesn’t EVER make salad for me, his response is, “There are so many better things to make than salad.” Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had turned into Wolfgang Puck all of a sudden, and were too good for salad. No one is TOO GOOD FOR SALAD!

OK, that is enough ranting. The point is that tonight I headed down to NYC for the weekend to spend time with Colleen and to take her roommate, and my childhood friend, Gail out for her birthday. I traveled Thursday after work to avoid the Friday rush, and will work remotely from the city tomorrow, a true perk of my job. When speaking with Colleen this morning, she said, “I am going to be Patrick for the night, what do you want me to cook for dinner? (Isn’t she amazing?!)” She asked me to give her one ingredient to work from, and she would build a meal from there. “This might sound stupid,” I said, “but could you make salad? Please?” Perhaps she could sense the desperation in my voice, so she agreed. 

Since my friend Lauren, who was making the trip with me, had graciously gotten me a roast beef sandwich from a gas station….. I was ready to eat when we arrived. Long story short, what resulted when was a glorious creation, a mango and cranberry salad with an oil-based vinaigrette (Pat will love that one!). Oh, and a shrimp and scallion stir fry that was simply delectable. Turns out, despite the fears of SOME people, you can make an incredible meal that includes salad! Who knew? Oh yeah, that’s right, I did!

– Fin

To read Patrick’s response to this post, click here.

Bill

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